365 Ways To Wellbeing – 355th Way
“Mothers who stay at home with they children should go back to work sooner. They are home because they are just lazy.”
I had just started my maternal leave after Unna was born when I read that headline from the paper. It made me think about cultural pressure that moms have to face. There are a lot of them and you really can’t hide from them. By reading newspapers, watching tv and listening to people you can constantly feeling the cultural pressure crawling under your skin. Those messages give you impression of how you should think about your motherhood, what it means to be a good mother, when is the right time for a mom to get back to work and how you should take care of your children.
While having to face such pressure it can often be really difficult to know what’s the best way to live your life. Even if you already have some experience of being a mother. Raising healthy and smart children with good self-esteem in a modern world is not the easiest task. Especially when at the same time you should also take care of yourself and be successful in working life and in your relationship. Keeping it all together can be really difficult at times.
Pressure often turns into anxiety if you try to act according to it. You’ll just end up tired of trying and never really getting there. You start to feel worse about yourself and life. There’s always someone who thinks you’re doing it wrong no matter how you do it. Depressing, isn’t it?
Some time ago I told you that I joined the Martha Organization with my mother and little sister. This day we had our local Martha organization´s pre-Christmas party. I remembered the headline I had read a few years earlier. I also remembered the advice that my mother gave to me when I got our firstborn. She said: “Trust your maternal instinct.” I took her advice seriously because my mother has raised six children. I thought that she probably knows pretty well what she’s talking about 😉
I have followed my mother´s rule and noticed how great advice that is! Simple and great! I´ve consciously learned to listen to myself more and to do things that I feel are good and right to my family, my children and to myself. I´ve learned to be my own kind of a mother.
In pre-Christmas party I realized that while learning to listen to myself I´ve also developed resistance towards cultural pressure. And along the way I’ve learned to ignore it better. Learning to trust my own instinct has also strengthen my trust to myself. All very good lessons to be learned for better wellbeing!
Read more about my “Wellbeing Challenge 2013 – 365 Ways To Wellbeing”.