Learn To Accept Yourself

31.12.2013

365 Ways To Wellbeing – 365th Way

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change”

-Carl Rogers-

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 It is funny how much of the life of a human being is about learning to accept the humanity in ourselves. How difficult it is for us to be just ourselves. Accept that we all are the same. That  everyone of us are intrinsically as bad or as good as everybody else.

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The day before yesterday I wrote about finding the real reasons behind your anxiety. For me it has been that I haven´t been able to accept myself. I´ve been ashamed of myself. And because I haven´t been able to find the acceptance within myself, I´ve been looking for it elsewhere, from other things and people.

Because I haven´t been able to be real me, I´ve pretended to be something else. Something that I´ve thought other people would like me to be.  That I would be accepted. I´ve tried to fit in  somewhere I can´t fit in. And by pretending to be something else than I am,  I´ve let myself become tough and caused myself anxiety and suffering.

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The reason why I enjoy to be at my childhood home is that I feel that I´m as good as I am while I’m there. My parents have never told me how I should live my life or what I should become. It’s only now when I ´ve realized how wise they have been. They´ve done their best to show their love to me. Show me that I’m accepted. To show my gratitude I can only hope to be able to do the same to my children.

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It has been painful to notice that it’s me who has been the block on my way to wellbeing and happiness. That behind all it has been just me who hasn´t accept myself. It’s a lonely moment to look at the mirror and see how I´ve hurt myself and others by trying to be something else than I am.

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At the same time I´ve felt gratitude to have the courage to look at the mirror. Now I´ve got a chance to take responsibility for my life and change its way.

All of us get chances to grow and change their lives to a better direction. It´s up to us whether we use the chance or do we just ignore it and continue doing same as before. It´s up to us whether we learn to get to know ourselves. Learn to listen to our minds and bodies and act according to what we hear.

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Don´t take the easiest path! That´s what I want to say to you. Use your opportunities to grow and feel better! Don´t choose the way of bitterness and giving up. That way you only shut yourself from the life and prevent yourself to be well and happy.

Yes, it´s damn hard to solve all of our emotional gridlocks. It needs a lot of work and takes a lot of time. But it is so worth it! Have the courage, ask help and don´t give up.

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It is worth because all the small moments of victory are so sweet. They are the seeds for long-lasting wellbeing. When you make progress with yourself and learn to know yourself better, you start to  feel better than ever before. Your mind feels light and your body starts to function better. You realize that there are more strength in you than you’ve ever imagined. More possibilities. That you have all the wisdom needed inside you to be well and happy.

You won’t feel so anxious anymore. You begin to heal and find peace within you. You start to see more beautiful details and learn to live at the present moment. And you’re able to just be and wonder how amazing life can be.

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You also start to see yourself in a different way. A more beautiful, kind and compassionate way. You see all the imperfections in you clearer than ever, but they don´t bother you anymore. You realize that they are a part of humanity in you. And you start to see also beauty in the mirror. Beauty that has nothing to do with the way you look or what shape you are in.

You realize that it’s ok to be imperfect because we all are.

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After you accept the humanity in you, you start to see it in others too. You feel more connected to other people. You start to feel compassion to them because you realize that they are struggling too. Not for the same reasons maybe or in the same way, but still probably as hard as it is to you too. It’s hard for all of us to be ourselves.

You realize that we all are looking for answers for the same questions in life.

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After you take responsibility for your own life, realize the common humanity and the development of compassion, you also realize that it’s actually not only you who is responsible for your life. You’ll suddenly see that other people have had their effect on you too. That’s because the lives of  the people are so interconnected.

Your anger and all the other negative emotions start to fade away after you realize that we’re all in the same boat. That there’s no point to continue the vicious circle of hatred but to try help out each other.

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When you´ve got a good start to this positive cycle of feeling better, you also learn to appreciate life more. And when you appreciate something, you want to take care of it. You want to take good care of the wellbeing of your mind and body because they´ve made it possible for you to live.

You want to keep up growing, feeling connected to yourself and other people. Because then you don´t need to feel lonely anymore.

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When I look at these photos I want to say I´m so sorry. I want to apologize my body and mind that I´ve been so cruel to them and mistreated them. For so long I looked for faults from them and felt ashamed of my features. Focused on criticizing and not seeing all that beauty that a woman´s body and mind have inside.

When I look at these photos I feel a great joy to notice the change that is happening in me. A big change of the way I see myself and how I am. I see the appreciation and acceptance that is growing. I see a new kind of shine in my eyes and in my smile.

When I look at these photos I see a woman who’s on her way to accepting and being better to herself in the future. And when she’s better to herself, she’s also better to the others.

I see a woman who’s finally on a right way in her life. I realize that she is nothing more or nothing less than a human being. Good and precious like the way she is.

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“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” 

― Gautama Buddha

Read more about my “Wellbeing Challenge 2013 – 365 Ways To Wellbeing”. I can’t believe I did it!!

I can´t thank you enough my dear husband! You´ve made all this possible ❤

Happy New Year 2014!

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