365 Ways To Wellbeing – 344th Way
Independent is a word that has characterized me ever since I was a child. Also with money. I had my first summer job when I was 10. At the age of 16 I moved to live alone, and worked all holidays to get my rent paid. In the university I saved money to be able to spent semesters in Norway and Sweden. In working life I´ve been so hard-working and committed that I’ve been pretty sure that there’s a next job waiting for me after the previous one has ended. “Incomes and expenses need to be in balance. Always have couple of months salary on your band account for the sake of something sudden happens.” Yes, that´s my life.
Or that WAS my life. I´ve been now home for 3,5 years. This autumn I used my last savings for our mortgage. I still have something on my bank account but what if my Macbook, for example, breaks up? Well, I hope it doesn´t!
What kind of emotions my financial situation brings up in me? Fear, anxiety and panic! It feels simply AWFUL! For the first time during my life I´m financially dependent on my spouse, and I can say that it´s not an easy task for an independent woman like me…I´ve also noticed that it doesn´t help that we´ve both agreed that this kind of a work and family arrangement works best for us now. It doesn´t take away the horrible feeling of insecurity that I have to learn to live with now.
The AMOUNT of money is one thing that can very easily cause fights between spouses. EMOTIONS that money wake up is another thing. This day me and my husband talked about the latter one. I told him about all the difficult emotions that I have concerning money. Talking about the difficult topic helped – it relieved my fears and anxiety. I felt so much better after the conversation!
So don´t let money come between you and your loved one. Do a favor for your wellbeing and talk together about ALL the emotions it wakes up in you. Listen and try to understand also your loved one – If your role at home isn´t easy, neither is the the role of the one who has to earn all the money to pay the bills. The better you´re able to understand each other´s roles in your family company the better it is for your relationship!
Read more about my “Wellbeing Challenge 2013 – 365 Ways To Wellbeing”.